The opposite of the internet.

10 Mar

If an aging ex-soap star struggling against her own irrelevence doesn’t make you hate the internet, nothing will.

Disregard the number of views. Pay enough money and you’ll get Jennifer Aniston to front your ad, put the words ‘sex tape’ behind her name and you’ve got a sure-fire search engine hit.

It doesn’t mean people like the ad, it doesn’t mean they’re engaging with the brand. High production values and expensive celebrity endorsement, this is the opposite of how the internet works.


And if storing redundant information about celebrities is your thing, or if you just kinda like John Mayer’s interview persona, you might be interested to know that Jennifer Aniston is also the opposite of the internet in real life. Here’s an excerpt from Mayer’s now infamous interview with Playboy magazine:

PLAYBOY: Did you send Aniston a copy of the CD after it was done?


PLAYBOY: Maybe she’ll download it from BitTorrent.

MAYER: If Jennifer Aniston knows how to use BitTorrent I’ll eat my fucking shoe. One of the most significant differences between us was that I was tweeting. There was a rumor that I had been dumped because I was tweeting too much. That wasn’t it, but that was a big difference. The brunt of her success came before TMZ and Twitter. I think she’s still hoping it goes back to 1998. She saw my involvement in technology as courting distraction. And I always said, “These are the new rules.”

PLAYBOY: You mean the rules of celebrity have changed since Friends made her a star?

MAYER: I said, “Tom Cruise put on a fat suit.” That pretty much sums up the past decade: Tom Cruise with a comb-over, dancing to Flo Rida in Tropic Thunder. And the world went, “Welcome back, Tom Cruise.”

PLAYBOY: What’s the moral there?

MAYER: You have to show that you don’t take yourself seriously. Once you do that, people will say you’re cool: “You know what? I gotta say I never liked him until he made fun of himself, and now I like him.”


2 Responses to “The opposite of the internet.”

  1. Aimee March 10, 2011 at 9:22 pm #


    This ad makes me hate bottled water. It’s smart because it’s made that way. Eeeeeeech. What is that line even trying to say?

    • jonoaidney March 12, 2011 at 9:54 am #

      Exactly, right?

      I’ll bet it’s fortified with all kinds of minerals to make your brain huge. But they fail to provide even a hint of a USP here.

      And to think, they could have dressed animals up as scientists. That always gets me. Always.

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